I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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