i can't believe i had my finger in that
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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