No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
