i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
