You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
