Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
