where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
