she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
and she was petting her beer can
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
