Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
