I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
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I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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