Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
