forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
