I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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