we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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