i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
