we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
