Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
