I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
