You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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