I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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