He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
