in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
