Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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