I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
