he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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