This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
