Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
