I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
