you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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