he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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