I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
