we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Enjoy the penises
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
