my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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