Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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