Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
