Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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