You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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