I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
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This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
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Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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