you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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