I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
