His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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