That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize