I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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