Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
