yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
