found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
