and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
