She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
