Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't deserve a penis
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
