WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
