Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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