Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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