Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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