My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
