Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
