i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
