yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
