No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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