he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
