At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
