Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
