awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize