Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
