Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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