wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
