Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
accomplished twins. life is a go
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
