Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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