Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
