I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
