the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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