my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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