Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
