Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
