I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just want to make out with him forever
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
